Another year older

So another birthday. I am not excited. 

I have come into a new problem, it's not a new problem, but it has actually gotten under my skin. 

I have always been known as the tom-boy, never getting into girly stuff, doesn't own girly shoes, would rather go to a bar than have a manicure, and dresses, only have two. 

My husband met me this way and this is how he knows me but I am thinking the older that I am getting the more I should probably look my age and not like a college student. I would really like to have a nice middle. 


Also the biggest thing. I have asked my husband to plan it out because every time I plan something for my birthday it does not happen. I also have this awful feeling that my husband will completely miss the mark because all of a sudden he doesn't like doing the same things that I like to do. 

I know that when you get married everything is a give and take, there is a compromise but does everything have to die?

My husband and I would go out to karaoke, go out for drives, have adventures, and be together. Now, I sit on the couch while he games, I try to go out with him and he doesn't want to because he is too tired. 

I worry that I am attractive to my husband because he games. I know that he needs to have time to himself but can I have some time. I always have to make the plans, I always have to try make sure he is ok, I always have make sure the kids are ok, and when I get time to myself, I am too tired to do anything. 

I honestly think that Chris has no idea how to be romantic, doesn't know how to listen to me when I tell him this, doesn't know how to look up anything that would be fun. I don't want to just go to a movie and dinner. I want something that we haven't done anything in a while. I want to feel like it will really be about us. 

I just feel very much in the dark and ignored most of the time. 

Making the "Thank you" List

For those you know me there is this saying that I have when I see a wonderful genetic piece of art. I love both sexes and give credit where credit is due. You have to enjoy what is around you and if it is man or woman, who cares. Sit back.

" I would like to thank your parents for fucking."

1. John Mayer, OH MY GOD! This man and I have had a relationship since before my husband. This man, to me, oozes sex. He has an pheromones that beg you to stalk him. Not that I have. Yes, in a poor college movie, he is that man in corner with his guitar, elbow deep in freshman pussy. Can you imagine seeing this gorgeous man and then finding out that he can sing, and play the guitar? Women will do a mating dance for him. Men really have no choice to hate him. I would hate him. If I was male. Thank God I am not.  


Let me just list the women have had the privileged of encountering his penis. Jennifer Aniston (bitch), Katy Perry (bitch), Jennifer Love-Hewitt (bitch), Alyssa Malano (bitch), and Jessica Simpson (bitch). Taylor Swift is a pity pass. He became a swift song.  

All I say is Panties off, anytime, any where. Sorry hubby.

John Mayer- My Stupid Mouth My Favorite Song.

2. Emmy Rossum.  Yes, She can sing, dance and it's true that she let her ex-fiance's car roll into Hudson but in her defence she caught him cheating. Dude deserved it.

She has been known to be a man eater, but here is the real question; are they really complaining? I would take the bragging rights and go.

Seriously. She can play anything and everything she wears looks better on the floor. I first saw her in The Phantom of the Opera and boom, corset. Boom. Boobs and hers look good in a corset. Need I say more. Just look at the picture and admire. 

3. Do you blame me? Shakira. This woman, is more than a woman, she is a natural force. Her hips defy gravity. I don't know any man that does not go into "his bunk" after seeing one of her music videos. 

I remember being in college and seeing her first music video and every male, and I, stood still. The hips, the hair, the lips, the small body and the fact that you knew she was a freak. Any woman like that, that isn't a freak, is not using those hips right. What is even better, the older we are getting , she is not aging. 

Example:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dsp_8Lm1eSk

4. There is a talent as a actor when you can make evil look sexy, and Tom Hiddleston has done it.  I have never heard of this man, until the Avengers and now I love everything that I seen him in. Loki, required a man to brew sexy through a evil smile. He is also British, which doesn't hurt. I would love to meet him just for the fact that he also makes sexy look good. Also come to find out that he is a ginger.... point of the gingers. My husband will be happy, I think.

Back to subject, I also have seen him in The Hollow Crown Series on PBS and any man that pull off Shakespeare, well damn, just take me. I am done. Don't bother swooning, no wooing needed, just talk, and I will take off my clothes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx6mEMnNK4A

The level of ok.

Sitting along in my house, knowing that Chris is not going to be home when I go to bed. I am watching Tori Spelling go through this whole cheating thing and just remembering that things could always be worse. 

Chris and I have been doing well so far. We have our moments. Chris is noticing that need more of him, and not just him playing a video game in the same room. I am learning that me being in charge all the time is not healthy. I need to let him be him and tell me stupid science jokes that I don't understand because it makes him happy. 

I know that there are couples out there that don't have what we have they look so unhappy. Why is it that people who get married seem to think they can stop trying?

I would believe that if you love someone and you decide to be with that one person for the rest of your life, wouldn't you want to keep trying? 

I feel like a wife that I have gone into this comfortable mode. I know what I have to do to make it work and what to make him happy, but why should he just be happy? Why or how do you make your partner excited to be married to you?

How do you make a weekend for yourself and your husband when you know it is impossible? He has to work, there are these kids, there are bills, and these are noble reason why to make it just ok but I want more than ok, he deserves more than ok. 

I have heard that marriage always come first even before kids because if they see how you can lean on each other and help each other then they will but I know that kids, money, bills, dinners, laundry, and even dishes have come before us. 

Some couples don't even have that level of ok. They have nothing but this false hope of sticking it out for the kids or because they don't want to be alone. All they do is hurt eachother by just staying together.  I don't want to that to happen.

Baseball is a gift to me.

Baseball is something that can help you in everything that you needed to know in life.

My father and I don't have much in common but one thing is baseball that we can always talk about.  My dad was an umpire since before I can remember. Players would tower over him, coaches would see him as a stocky man, but when he came out on the field he was the boss. He would never say anything negative, he would never raise his voice, you could hear him call out a strike from the top of the bleacher, and you never lost track of the game because of him.

He was like a kid in a candy store every time he would put his gear on. There was this little smile that was infectious. He has been playing ball since he was a knee high and the dirt of the field was in his blood. He met my mother on a baseball field. There was something about this sport that defined him and I love this sport because of it.

My poor father had no sons and so my sister and I learned the sport. We could never get into softball as much as baseball. Don't get me wrong, it's a noble sport there is something I think disproportionate about it. How is that women, who have smaller hands, get to throw a much bigger ball? My sister and I would learn how to keep score, oil gloves, knew the different types of pitches, how to swing, what was legal and what wasn't. We learned the gospels of DiMaggio, Clemente, Robinson, and Mays. Playing the game was a privilege and winning was just icing on the cake. 

Going to high-school, I didn't have my own name I was known as "Al's kid" because my father umpired, coached or they have come into my parent's video store to talk baseball cards or watch a game, there was something about spring that would call to me. I wished sometimes that I was a boy because that meant that I can play ball. My guy friends would ask me if my dad was going to umpire the game and I would hold a certain pride and also giddiness that they would even talking to me when I said that I didn't know. 

There was one game that was on my high school field that would stay in my mind the most. It was the most angry I have seen my dad over a sport and the first time I was yelling at the blue.

It was an afternoon game, my dad and I come up into the parking lot, always early never late, his partner was late. I was thinking that maybe Dad had to do this one alone, wouldn't be the first time. I don't remember his name, the car he came in, but I do remember the smell. It was that combination of alcohol and not bathing, uniform wasn't ironed and there was an air that this was going to be a long day. My Dad had that same idea and told me to get the score chart from the back. 

The game started bad from the get go. The visiting was worn out and poor starting pitch was being told to throw a change up but never could get it together. My Dad was slowly getting frustrated with his partner. During the breaks he would take a drink and smell more like an sweaty old man. Then it came.

There was a blown call. A very bad blown call and unfortunately I can't remember but it was bad. Both teams were off their benches trying to figure put what happened. My Dad got the crowds to calm down and the game ended, but the battle brewing underneath that catcher's mask was just starting. 

My friend Casey, who pitched only three innings, came up to me and was asking me what was going on next to my car. I knew better not to get into it. The teams knew, the parents knew, Casey knew and I knew that someone was drunk and that someone was in a umpire uniform. It was a very quiet ride home. 

That same year was a few things in baseball were happening. Cal Ripken Jr. one of my dad's favorite players was retiring.  I remember only three years earlier, when Angels in the out field was my favorite movie, Cal broke the most constitutive games played. My Dad and I were watching the game and knowing that history was being made and once again three years later we were watching the man that saved baseball retire.  

Roger Marris's 61 home run record was going to be broken. I was caught up with trying to keep up with the orchestrated drama that was high school but there was one thing that I wanted to know was what was the home run count. I have known of Mark McGwire because the hitting contest between Ken Griffey Jr. and McGwire was epic. The King Dome was falling apart and it was because of the homers. I didn't care who did it, I was in love with Marris. He played with Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra, and to me one of the most under stated and one of the most graceful players one the game. Yeah, I was just a prayer in the wind when he was playing but to me Mantle and Marris were the best. McGwire got it, the world was mad at a president for being a cheating man, and there were was a calm back in the force that was baseball. 

Every episode of memory I have of my Dad is in this sport. I love baseball because of him and no matter what material gifts he has given me the love of baseball is one that will stay with me forever.

You have hurt me.

I am not one to tell someone that they have hurt me because I believe that some issues are more my problem then theirs, but this was something that hit a nerve. It makes me believe there are just some people that live in this bubble that since it won't ever happen to them that it's ok to say something.

It started on Saturday night with this simple post: Anne is testing my patients. Put her in a bath and go to clean the kitchen. I hear slashing. I go an find that she has used her Legos to throw water across the bathroom making a huge puddle. Not happy.

This post looks all sweet and normal but apparently this status update will get CPS called in me because it says I left my 2 year old alone in the bath tub.

1. I have three kids. It's not like haven't done this before. 

2. My apartment is a shoe box. It is so small that I can hear when my boys are talking to themselves during a shower. 

3. I think CPS has better things to do. I have emailed CPS about a mother that I know has a three year old, pregnant, steals anything to get her hands on to score some pills, and all she does is yell at her kid. I was told because I don't have the proof and they really can't do anything about it except call them or check out the house. Doesn't matter now they are gone. 

Someone took it upon themselves to say something. Not to me. Not to my husband, but to my sister in law on the other side of Washington State and they live in the same area as we do. We live 20 minutes from the Idaho border, seriously? I get a text from my husband saying that he just got a call telling me not to post that stuff. NO ONE CALLS ME! GET IT NO ONE CALLS ME!

My husband tries to get the name but nothing comes out. I am more hurt than mad and my sister in law is in tears because she thought she was doing the right thing by telling my husband and not me. We pretty much know who it is and will see what happens because they were told to admit to it but I am still hurt. 

To the person that decided to not tell me.

If you were worried that I would have taken it personally and be defensive, you are right I would be. AS WOULD ANY MOTHER! That is your opinion and all I would have said is that we agree to disagree and move on. I am grown ass woman that made the  adult decision to post that and if CPS wants to come after me let them. 

You have brought up a bunch of past memories of when I was a single mom. I had to fight tooth and nail and maybe even some pounds of flesh to have what I have no. The boys Dad had his mother, who was living with my parents, call CPS to where I just moved into. She claimed that I had no beds, clothes, diapers, and I let them eat old dried food from the floor. The boys father had his friends watch where I was going, who I was with, and how long I had the boys with me, because I had a year long restraining order. 

My son got in HUGE trouble during super bowl sunday because he told someone that we don't spend enough time with him and it got out of controll to the point that someone said something about CPS coming to the house. That caused a panic attack. 

Also pas·sive-ag·gres·sive

adjective

1. of or denoting a type of behavior or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastinating, pouting, or misplacing important materials.

To me this means that you have no respect to fight your own fight.You also have no respect for me as your friend. The more things you pass things on and it wasn't meant to get back to me just add another layer of judgement.  There is nothing wrong in what you were thinking and if it was not meant to get back to me then it should have just stayed in your head. You have put my sister in law in a spot that was hard you haven't messaged or anything saying it was you or even saying that you are not going to apologize. 

If you are going to have an issue with something that I said then tell me, leave my family out of it. If you want to hurt me and piss me off keep doing what you are doing and the next time I see you, you will be suspect and weather we can be friends is going to be on you. 

I don't know how I am going to feel the next time I see you. You have hurt me. You made me shake. You made me cry. You have made me questioned our friendship. CPS is something that you just can have a small conversation. It's a huge deal. You are talking about taking kids away from mothers. There are mothers that need CPS to save then from themselves for the kids safety. That is what CPS is for. 

As to weather or not you read this, I don't care. This has made me feel so much better. 

Be a lady on the outside but have bigger balls than him.

I am upset. Girls go away and let the women play the game the way it was meant to be played. Men say they want a Miley or some other anorexic monstrosity that have the balls to call them a women.

Yes. This is young John Wayne. Gorgeous. 

When you like of men you think of John Wayne, George Clooney, Cary Grant, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, or even better and the man that I have always thought that who was best Rex Harrison. Do you think that they would have taken themselves up with what inventory of females that is out there now? Hell no. They would have by passed the inevitable STD check and they would go with something of value.

Girl's today don't know what they are doing. You don't go on the internet and fall in love with someone and expect to be real. Be honest. Yes, there are some out there that are real but any person knows that as soon as you put yourself on the internet you have a good excuse: You work, you have a job, and you need help finding people. Then there are the type that is there for an easy fuck and to put your emotional roller coaster that they call your life.

Let's lay down some rules.

None of this. No one looks like this naturally.

1. If you are going to be on he internet trying to find a someone, be honest. Everything has to be honest. Don't put the most sexy picture as your profile. if you give a sexy picture you are giving too much a away too soon. Let it be a surprise that you like being tied up and you want to be taken control with whips and chains a month into dating.

2. 30 days. NO SEX FOR 30 DAYS. Make sure that he wants to be with you for you. If he likes you and grows really awesome feeling for you, wait. It will be worth it, You have to treat your body as a theme park. Make your body look like Disneyland but don't let him in until he earns it.

3. You are crazy. You might not want to admit it but you are a woman and we were designed to be crazy. Men don't listen to Betty Crocker and if they want you to be, fuck them. You have to be honest and let them know about your flavor and if he doesn't believe you, show him, when the time is right. If he doesn't like it than oh well move on to the next one.

4. Rule Breakers. You have to do this, not for him but for you. You have to be able to comfortable with yourself and understand that what you want has to be really want to be what you want. Don't try to fit him into your rules and don't fit into his. No couple should ever try to change their partner. Either your partner makes want to be a better person or they don't.  Don't change yourself.

5. Know Yourself. Know that being alone is not a weakness. You don't know who you truly are until you have been dumped and made to be alone. You have tons of evolution backing you up. Be alone. Let them know as you are dating that you are ok being alone until you find the right one. 

6. Learn how to cook. This is something that everyone should have learned.If plans fall through you should be able to adapt a have a really good night at home. Make dinner, have conversation, save money, and win points. 

7. Nothing is sexier than a person that can be silly. If you can laugh at yourself, then you have confidence and nothing says more scandal that a woman enjoying herself. Make the dirty joke, be one of the guys, and understand that being one of the guys  is awesome. 

8. Be a bitch. My mother told me that if someone is calling you a bitch than you are doing something right. Don't be afraid to call someone out on their bullshit. You deserve quality, not bullshit, and if they give you nothing but bullshit offer them the door. 

9. Don't be needy. If you are going to be one of those girls that are known for causing drama then change something. Do not be that girl that hangs on his every word, do not make up stories to have him drop everything for you, do not text him when he is at work when he tells you not to, and do not go out of your way to see him. If you have work stay at work. If he has a job that allows you to text then let him text you.  If he doesn't call you then oh well. Life loves on and so do you.

10. Do not make a mockery if our sex. We are women. The only reason why we are here is because God figured out that he fucked up with the first model. Do not be girl. You are a woman and you are playing a woman's game. Leave the girl at home, at college, in high-school. I don't care where you leave her, you leave her. Grow up. Pay your bills. Take care of your kids. You are worthy of everything that is out there but you have to work for it and have bigger balls than everyone else out there. 

You are playing for keeps.

Maria Obeso-Tucker is still waiting for you to join Twitter...

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