Knock out.

So people say that if you last five years than our marriage is set. Is that really true?

Being married the last year had diffidently more than just a challenge. This has been Stevie Wonder in a hide and seek game. I have no fucking idea what I am doing and you know what I for once am O.K with not having that control but my husband is not such a fan. 

Our biggest issue is the one thing that I thought that we had was awesome our communication. Was I ever hit with a reality check as to when my husband asked me if I was settling for him. 

That was just insulting. How do you really recover from that? That was only round one. Next was he felt like he was a over glorified baby sitter because the boys don't give him respect. Round two. I asked him if he felt that wanted to leave. Knock out punch to what ever imaginary balls I had. He says that he was tired of one crisis after another and everything that he tries to do either he has to do all over again or told that he can't have it. 

How does a wife recover from this?

Yeah, I have noticed that everything has been a fight with him and I have thought that he has been acting way more emotional than normal but I thought that he was just really depressed from everything that went wrong.

The last couple months have been hard because everything that we were trying to do was falling a apart and not by our doing. There are just some people that should not be in the military and my husband's recruiter is one of them. He treated Chris like a high price piece of steak on the black market in a vegetarian commune. Didn't tell us until three before he was going to go away that we had the wrong birth certificates, had to spend 100 bucks that we didn't have go get the right ones, Find out that Chris and I could have stayed together in the same hotel as long as we paid for it, got a call from Chris at MEPS at 7 in the morning that he was disqualified because of shin splints, found out that his work couldn't get him back on the schedule until later this month, We were 150 buck short of rent and not to mention that we had to borrow money from numerous people just to make it. All this I don' care who you are this is a kick to the major ego. 

How does anyone recover? I have been in the dark this whole time. I thought that I was doing my job by going to my job, cleaning, and being with him to help and that was not what he needed. Yes I was stressed out and yes I was frustrated but I have been in the middle of original scfi movie of a nuclear tornado in space of emotions in my house. 

I was insulted, hurt, depressed, confused and anything that would explain the being blind sided by the words "are you settling for me?"

Then my worst and biggest concern happened. He has thought about leaving and one of our "friends" said that he should take the baby and move in. I don't know who this friend is but now they are on my shit list and stay clear of me. Chris told me that he is not going to leave but now it's there. It has been said, there is no way and nothing that any one and I mean that God could Doc Brown this shit backwards try to make sure it wouldn't be said could make it better.

I found that we both are trying to do this independently together and that is wrong way. I don't want to be one of women that is going to stay married to prove a point that it can work but I am also not going to be that woman that has three kids two different daddys. 

I was meant to be married to Chris. There is no one that I would rather be with in this whole entire world. He makes me calm and happy. Yes he puns, play LARP, plays an annoying tank game that treats worse than Courtney Love relapsing from rehab, but he is mine.