I am becoming one of those women. I hate it. There is just something about having a man that makes us turn into this ugly unsecure. We over think the about the most simple shit and start planning our heart's funeral as thing progress.

 

I feel sorry for our men when we go through this Mt. St. Helens of emotional breakdown. We start thinking he is going to be like the last one. He is the enemy. He has a penis. He is going to leave us when he find another up grade. What makes us be this way? Why do we have to compare them to our past relationships?

 

Our poor, poor men. I don't know how they do it, sometimes they just need to hold us and the next minute Syble comes out and we want to put them through some kind of emotional torture. I blame Eve for this emotinal, horomonal, and femine bullshit. I bet you money, if that damn snake just stayed in that God Damn tree we wouldn't be anything like this. We would be in out own personal heaven and our men would get the best thing ever, we would not bug them during their guy time.

 

I will have to say, our men are a lot stronger than we give them credit for. Chris is a strooper. He sees me go through ups and downs. He has been so patient with me but in the last year of being together, I saw him crack. It was so human. He has been so strong for me in the past year and half, with out complaint and with out question, to see him get as frustrated with me as I do was eye opening. Here is this man, that I love very much, needing me to shut up and let him be in a pissy mood. This was something new. Then I realized something, I haven't been giving him what he needs to most, Chris needed to be with Chris with out me. We have been connected at the hip(no pun intended, but I know you are going to think in the gutter anyways) for almost two years, we lost our independent selves.

 

This sence of being lost is something that happens when we get complacesent. I will say it first. I got complacesent. I was there all the time and I didnt let him or I be us. we have so much fun being together, it's stop being fun for a moment, and this is usally the moment that I get bored and start walking out the door, but this time I learned something.

 

If Chris wants to texts me  that he loves me, ot give me those little small surprises that I love and I have been asking him for, I need to be away from him. How can I expect to be pursued if I am always in the same room. I love looking at my phone during my break and getting text out of no where that says "I love you" , that says "hi", or hell I love the ones that say "Come over and be with me". How can I have those things if I am always there. It's a good question with the most simple answer. I need to find a fucking hobby.

 

As my Grandma Lynn always says "If you are the one having the issue, then it's your issue to fix." She is a pretty smart lady.

 

Instead of me acting like this teenage-emo-whinny-asshole, that is acting like a three-year-old, because no one will pay attention to me. I am going to lift my skirt and get over this damn thing. Chris loves me for the fact that kick ass and take name, I will have it my way or the high way, and I am not one to let my emotions get the best of me. I may have a pussy but I don't need to act like one.