Someone asked me today if I believe in love at first sight, fairytale endings, and true love. I said no to first two. I am not to sure if people know how to fall in love any more. I honestly think some people just get married for the great vavcation, spiffy duds, and a chance to get drunk for the sake of getting married.
I have never been married myself, but i have come sloe and every time i had to oull away a day on my calendar i really wanted to duct tape that day back. I don't think I was honeslty in love enough to go through with it. There is some thing about getting attached to someone for the reat of my life that didnt feel right at the time. Granted I have always been that run away birde type but there was something about back then that didnt appeal to me.
Women have told me, there is a moment when a knight is shinning armor comes to their rescue and saves from their life of being single. I used to think of it like that when I was back in my early 20s before my heart was corrupted my cheaters, liars, and theives of the heart, but now I have a whole new idea about it.
If you were tell me that the man that would come up in their shiny armor had red hair, played larp and drove a little green deathtrap of a car, I would be laughing at you. I would be dying laughing, but he would be saving me, from myself. I never needed to be saved from being single. I was fine as long as I have some D batteries and someone to make out with here or there, but I would admit not having someone to pull me out of my own self doubting funk is nice.
There would be moments that I needed to have someone to talk to other than my kids, facebook, and non exsisting people, but hey I still got through it. It built character stuff, I dont know. Until Chris I truly dont know how I could have functioned so much. Someone that understood me, didnt want to change me, thought that I was pretty and had my back about stuff that didnt even envolve him was kind of nice.
I dont know if you would call it a rescue but fairy tales? Fairy tales is always going to be something different to other people. My fairy tale, white is shinning moment from him would be when he told me he loved me for the first time. It was a moment that I have been fighting, I didnt want to fall in love with someone, I thought that it wasnt going to end well, and I kep on saying that he is going to leave. I was ok with being a summer romance, at least I got my fuck on here and there but falling in love was the last thing that I ever wanted but I am glad that I did. It was just that moment when he said first, I saw in his eyes he meant it, the ways his arms held me, and how nothing in that one pure moment was going to be ruined. That was fairy tale ending, that was the moment was he saved me.
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