Fwd: Change is coming.

There is something that is going to be coming to a change and I am not too sure if my depression is because I depressed or I know that I am going to be alone again when he goes off  to boot camp.



Chris and I have been in this funk and nothing is fun about it.  I feel like everything is distant and too polite. I don't know if that makes any sense.



I have been feeling defeated by all the house work that I have to do and that I am getting no help. I always said that the rule is if I am cooking then he has to do dishes. I feel like I am getting no help at all. Chris does help by taking care of the kids and I know that I have been sounding off on face book, but is there anyway to make this better. It's like it was a year ago. I am tired, I get up at 4 during the week, working full time, coming home to messy house and then when he goes to work I am working full time again trying to clean and taking care of kids.



I ask everyone if this is what the first year of marriage is to be like and everyone told me the same thing. The first two years are hell and it either gets better or it gets worse.



I am hoping that when Chris goes to boot camp that he learns to take care of everything around him not just what needs to happen to keep him out of trouble.



This is what I want for my anniversary. I want my house clean. I want to know that things are changing that there is nothing like a band aid for a day and then comes off.



I need a change. I need to feel like I live in my home and I am not everyone's maid.  I need to know that I am going to be getting help from here on out. I am just tired of feeling like I am doing this on my own.