Tell me that I am not going insane. I know what I got myself into, or so I thought. I am trying to go all hormonal on my awesome husband but I am about ready to go on full blast, lose my wonderful cool, and have the much needed emotional breakdown that I have been holding back for way to long.
Seriously, I think that I have married a hoarder, or at least a serious pack rat. OK. As all of you know I am very pregnant and I don't have the energy to clean up after everybody. Here is my thing, if I am crying because I think my house is way too cluttered, we are never going to be ready for this baby because my room look like a disaster zone, my kitchen is always has a dishes stacking up, there is never enough laundry done, and the most common argument coming up right now is how I want to have the house clean, wouldn't that be a clue?
I feel bad for going off like this but dude, I am going to go off and it won't be pretty. I am almost seven months pregnant and the only one working I don't to want clean my home and it's not because I am lazy, I am tired. I don's sleep, I am afraid to eat because I have been getting Sick more often, I just want to come home. I don't even feel like I have a home, I just live there, there is nothing in that apartment that look like we live there, other than some pictures that I put up. I want to have a home and I don't even feel like I have that. When I come home, I don't want to think about the mess I am going to come into. I would like to come home and rest.
I am so over whelmed when I see everything and then I see him sitting on the computer reading archives of web comics. I get so frustrated. I don't say anything because I am tired of the conversation, crying about it, and nothing being done.
I don't care where things go because he lives there too, he can make a decision where things go, and he is not broken. I love him so much and I know the week that we have the boys it is a little hard but if only took one hour a day away from his fucking computer and cleaned a room for a hour I would have nothing to complain about. When it comes to cleaning I am talking about that bachelor way of cleaning, which is taking everything throwing it in a closet, sweeping it under a rug, or some where random. I would like have my house clean, I have cleaning stuff every where.
This is not a passive aggressive stance either. I have been telling him about this all the time, but nothing is getting through. All I want is for him to get off his ass and do something. Surprise me and have some thing clean. If I have to talk about this one more time, I am going to off for a drive or I am going to throw the biggest pregnancy fit that the world has seen.
As someone who was in a very similar situation to your husband, the only advice I can give is that it'll get better. It took me a long time to get used to stepping up and taking a more proactive role around the house, and I still go through periods where I slip. It was the hardest part of the transition from bachelor to family man, because it's not instinct... in fact, it's counter intuitive to the way we were raised, where kids and mothers did the majority of house work. I want to be very clear - that's no excuse, and I agree that us men not pulling our weight around home - especially when not working - is unacceptable. It just that it doesn't even register for a while, doesn't feel like a big deal or even a little one most the time.
ReplyDeleteIt'll get better. He'll learn, and exploding on him once and a while will actually help emphasize that it does matter a lot to you. I just caution you from making the mistake of thinking that this is somehow a comment on his overall character, because you know in your heart he's a good man. I know a lot of folks (male and female) who take a sticking point like this and lose perspective.
Also I can threaten to remote into his PC and lock out all websites except mylittlepony.com if he doesn't shape up :)