a blank thought.

Have you ever had one of those days, your mind is just a blank? You are tired for no reason and you wish there was something you can do to change it but the never ending slowness of your body consumes you like a sloth crossing the road? Yeah, today was one of those days.

I come to work ready to meet my day and it was like I was fit the a food come after eatcing a large order of nachos. The bad thing about being this tired is that your mind is trying so hard to concentrate that it can go into over drive, when you finaly wake up. My mind did that today. I started over thinking alot about how much I am involved with my relationship and what stage is coming next.

I am fine with where we are now. I am a girlfriend. I want nothing more and nothing less but is he ever going to think that we need to go that extra step? How am I going to react if he does? I know that being with someone for a while is something that would be nice but in all honesty I dont want it right now. I dont even like the idea that I can have a drawer in his room. I dont want to go through a wedding because I dont want a divorce, so the best thing to be is a girlfriend and nothing more. My fear of commitment know no bounds. I dont want come back and pack all my stuff in a box and go. I had to force myself to take the key to the apartment. The reason behind was good, becase he has a history of locking himself out of house and I work in the afternoon so its not hard to come to his rescue.

Another thing, why do guy think that just because you stick your penis in a girl they are your girlfriend. This is a pattern that concerns me, a little. I think Chris and I have been dating for almost 8 months now, but he thinks it is been a year and half because that is when we started fucking. I dont really know. The sex has been amazing and it is only getting better but still, he really thought this way, and if he did why didnt he say something? I dont get it and I gues that I dont have the correct plumbing to understand, and I am starngly ok with this. It's best not to know.

there are so many things that have been running through my mind and I know that one day my open opinion about things are going to get me in trouble because I dont really care about what people think.

I have alway been one of those people that dont put up with a lot of shit because iis too short to be shoveling througb someone bullshit. I dont think a lot of people think somethings through before saying something to me though. I am going to listen to you and I will come up with the most logical answer in a word. You wont like it or you will agree with me and if you dont fuck you... its not going to matter to me in five years anyways.