its been one of those nights.

Last night was one of nights that my little baby Anne did not want to sleep, eat, or even let us function.

Yes, this little girl made sleeping damn near impossible last night but I can't blame her completely.


I am honestly wondering if the depression that I was hoping would just subside was just coming to kick my ass.


It sucks when you care awake, well barely, and every little insecurity comes into your mind and you become this human bucket of tears. All that I was trying not to worry about came at me at warp 10 and nothing was helping me. I was getting mad that I had to go back to work. I really don't want to but I am the only that has a job. I am worried about Chris and how is going to handle three kids on his own while I go back to work. I worry about how they are going to adjust to me going back to work. 


Chris is doing the best he can to adjust to having baby but I know that there are going to e days that she won't stop crying or she is going to get sick and him being a first time daddy won't know what to do. I know that he is going to fine and if he needs help he just has to call someone but I don't know if I am going to be ok leaving. I am already crying when I leave her at home while I go to the store.... it's bullshit.