During this Christmas season I have been asked for what I wanted, I dont like this question because no one has ever listened in the past, so what's the point to even answer the fucking quesiton. I have always been afraid to ask for anything just for sake of rejection. rejection is something that I have gotted used to, being the oldest of two you get used to parents not being able to afford everything, timing sometimes being an issues but mostly people think I am strange or they dont like my idea and go get something that they think i will like. I have always stuck with the safest things I could think of. Coca cola and scrap booking. I dont ask for anything for another reason, I dont know when things are going to go away. When am I going to have to sell this stuff to get by again. Nothing ever stays forever and forever is a stupid thing to hope for.
I am not used to people caring about how I feel about thigns that I want and I am learning this. I have friends and a boyfriend that actually care about how I feel. I dont know how to feel about this. I dont know if this is something that I can keep.
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